The Case for Taking Play Seriously (but not, like, in a serious way)

Play 101: Finding fun, flow, and aliveness in our adult lives

Jun 18, 2025

Welcome to Play 101, where I'll be breaking down the basics of play - giving you permission to prioritize it, backing up why it matters with science, and busting the myths that keep us from accessing our most creative, joyful selves.

Tell me if this sounds familiar: You're doing all the “right” things. You eat well, exercise, work hard, care for others - yet something is missing. You're functioning, but you're not exactly thriving. And in the moments where you expect to feel fulfilled, there is a quiet voice in the back of your mind asking, “Is this all there is?” The world pressures us to juggle tons of responsibilities in pursuit of a life that looks good on paper.

What if there's a missing piece that's entirely within your control - something you already knew how to do perfectly when you were six years old? What if that missing piece is play?

I know what you may be thinking. Play? Really? That's your big solution? I get it! We've been trained to believe that anything pleasurable must be frivolous and everything “productive” is virtuous. But the science tells a different story.

Just like we need to sleep and eat, humans also have an innate need (and drive) to play. That’s why, from the moment we’re born, our brains are hardwired for play. It’s that important!

The signs you need more play

When our body needs something, it lets us know. If you’re hungry, your stomach growls. If you’re tired, you start to yawn. Research shows the same is true for play! If you’re under-played, your spirit sends out SOS signals. You might feel disconnected, stuck in a rut, and like you're just going through the motions instead of actually living. Ring a bell?

On the flip side, when you're well-played, problems that felt overwhelming suddenly have creative solutions. You might find yourself more patient with your kids, more resilient after setbacks, and more optimistic about the future. Play connects us more deeply to ourselves, each other, and the world around us. And when we are connected, we are more adaptable and ready to take on life’s challenges .

What I mean when I say play

So, what is play exactly? Play is aliveness in motion. It's when your whole curious, creative, unguarded self shows up and engages. When you're following your “wants” rather than your “shoulds.” When you feel light, even if you're doing something challenging. When time slips away because you're fully absorbed in the moment.

This might look like getting swept up in a creative project, bantering back and forth via text, singing in the shower, or approaching a problem with curiosity instead of dread. It's any moment when you feel fully alive and engaged.

But do adults really need play?

We tend to think of play as kids stuff, and it’s true that children need play in order to learn about the world and build healthy social skills. Play is one of the earliest ways kids experience self-direction, helping them develop a sense of control and independence.

The mistake we make is assuming the perks of play vanish when we enter adulthood. But we never ever stop needing the creativity, connection, and resilience that play helps us build - in fact, we face bigger, more complex challenges that make those skills more vital.

Play also helps us process stress, boost our immune system, and maintain cognitive flexibility as we age. It's one of the best ways to shift out of fight-or-flight mode and into a state where we can think straight and get to solving your problems. Research even shows that playful adults live longer and report higher life satisfaction (!!).

So maybe you outgrew the playground (though swinging is always a good idea imo), but play itself is a lifelong essential!

What this looks like in our busy lives

You may be thinking: 'Okay, I'm convinced play is important, but what does that actually mean for my Wednesday afternoon?' Great question. As adults, we need both time to play (those moments of pure recreation and joy) AND the ability to live playfully (approaching our regular life with curiosity, lightness, and creativity). I know that carving out time for recreation isn't always realistic - sometimes we're in survival mode, and that's okay. But, with practice, we can almost always find small ways to bring a more playful spirit to whatever we're already doing.

If you're thinking 'But I don't even know what I find playful anymore,' you're not broken - you're just out of practice. Here are some clues to help you rediscover your play style:

When do you naturally lose track of time? (scrolling doesn't count!)
What kind of challenges light you up rather than drain you - like figuring out what to make for dinner from random fridge ingredients, or finding the perfect gift for someone?
What makes you laugh?
When do you feel most like yourself - curious, creative, unguarded?
What did you love as a kid? Is there a grown-up version of that that sounds fun?

The answers might surprise you - play doesn't always look like what we expect.

Ready to Dive Deeper into Play?

This is exactly why I'm writing this newsletter (and my book The Playful Way) - because reclaiming play isn't just about scheduling more fun. It's about remembering how to engage with life itself more curiously, creatively, and joyfully. It's a practice, and like any practice, it gets easier the more we do it together.